


Lewd, Vulgar, It's Simply Not Done

by orchidlocked



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, Cardassian Anatomy, Cardassian Culture, Established Relationship, Just Let Me Have That Last One Okay, M/M, Oral Sex, Service Topping?, Wet & Messy, taboos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 16:33:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21641326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orchidlocked/pseuds/orchidlocked
Summary: Julian and Garak are attempting to unwind at the end of a long day when some Terran/Cardassian cross-cultural differences come to light.
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Comments: 35
Kudos: 314





	Lewd, Vulgar, It's Simply Not Done

**Author's Note:**

> This is uh, self indulgent. Based off a prompt by CancerConstellation who suggested that certain sexual acts were taboo in Cardassian culture. My mind took that and uh, ran with it, shall we say. I swear every fucking time I try to write these two engaging in a bit of naughty fun, it turns into complete and utter sensitive mush. What can I say? I'm fucking weak for Garashir. Hope you enjoy.

1905 hours

It had been a long week, and Dr. Julian Bashir was happy to be done with work and in his quarters, where he was currently on the sofa, straddling his partner, a very tired Cardassian tailor.

“Don’t you want to take this off?” Garak asked, slipping his fingers under Julian’s Starfleet uniform. “I couldn’t possibly begin to imagine what you must be covered in after such a long day.”

Julian wiggled out of his uniform and tossed it behind him. “I think you should follow my lead, Garak. I’d hate to be stabbed by a rogue needle.”

Garak rolled his eyes and gently pushed Julian off his lap. He stood in order to remove his outfit; a forest green and gold tunic that extended just below his knee. Always careful with his clothing, the tailor slowly unfastened his tunic, slid it off his body, and laid it gently over a chair. Then he returned to the couch and into the warm arms of his lover. Julian mouthed his way down Garak’s neck ridges, and Garak pressed his body against Julian’s smooth skin, delighting in his warmth. Eventually, Julian’s hand slipped below the waistband of Garak’s pants.

“These too,” Julian whispered. He stood briefly to remove his own pants and watched as Garak gracefully slipped out of his last article of clothing.

“Come back,” Garak said, reaching out for Julian, who returned to the sofa and continued kissing the Cardassian’s cool, smooth lips. There were moans, sharp gasps of breath, and also some laughter as they attempted to shift positions on the rather small standard issue sofa. In the tussle, Julian slipped off the edge of the sofa and ended up on his knees, his hands roaming Garak's thighs. 

His fingers slowly wandered between Garak’s legs and he felt a warm trickle of fluid rush over them. He glanced down and realized the lights were still up. Julian had never really taken a look at Garak like this, before he’d everted; they had only been ‘dating’ for six months, three of which had involved intricate Cardassian courtship rituals, twelve different ways of holding hands, slow and tender kisses, and the most sexual frustration of Julian’s life. However, the doctor had slowly been discovering the benefits of the Cardassian predilection for taking things at a glacial pace. Even with his new knowledge of Cardassian courtship rituals, Julian still suspected his lover was quite shy. Garak preferred the lights to be dimmed or out when they were intimate. Julian guessed this was due to a bit of self consciousness on Garak’s part. He’d only recently learned about Cardassian standards of beauty, which tended to favor the tall, willowy, and long-limbed. Garak was stout and quite strong, which Julian truly enjoyed, but he did notice that his tailor tended to dress in colors and styles that did their best to elongate his frame. In their slow journey into intimacy, they’d never even so much as shared a shower together. Just (incredible) encounters in the dark, under sheets, and always in private.

Julian looked at the raised scales around Garak’s ajan. He’d never noticed that they were arranged in triangular patterns, or that they seemed to flush the same blue as the ridges on his face and neck. The medical curiosity in him took over, and Julian gently ran a fingertip down the left side of Garak’s ajan.

“Ahh!” Garak cried out as Julian watched the line of scales ripple beneath his touch.

“Garak... I had no idea you were so sensitive here,” Julian murmured, tracing a line on the other side and observing the same rippling motion.

Garak gasped and yanked his leg back, nearly kneeing Julian in the nose. “Are you attempting to lure your partner into bed for a mutually enjoyable evening or conducting clinical research on Cardassian anatomy?”

“Well, um - I was going for the former, of course, Garak, but I - I didn’t know you were...” Julian trailed off and his eyes again landed on the beautiful patterns of scales on the outer edges of Garak’s ajan. He couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if he...

Garak let out a high pitched screech as Julian licked a long, sloppy stripe over his ajan. “Just what do you think you’re doing, you... you wanton, lustful Terran?!”

Julian frowned and looked up to see a panting and flushed Garak staring down at him as though he’d been shocked. “I was... I wanted to-”

“You wanted to what? To perform a _vulgar_ act on me?”

“Vulgar? What-”

“Doctor Bashir, I find it hard to believe you don’t know what I mean by that.”

Julian opened and closed his mouth a few times before he could respond. “I absolutely don't know what you mean by that, Garak.”

“Well, it’s – that – what you just did – on Cardassia it's – it's considered,” Garak let out a huff, “Doctor, it's lewd! It’s vulgar! It’s just not done!” Garak’s eyebrows were receding into his hairline; Julian had never seen him so surprised, or flustered. Julian knew that bursting into laughter probably wasn't the best response, but he couldn't stop. Garak was staring daggers at him.

“I'm sorry, it's, that's just something I would never have expected to hear you say.”

“And why do you say that?”

“In my experience... um, I just – I've never had anyone not enjoy being – enjoy that sort of act,” Julian said.

“Oh, don't tell me this sort of thing is considered _acceptable_ on your planet,” Garak spat.

“Acceptable? It's more than just acceptable, it's... a highly desirable activity. For the person who,” Julian gestured vaguely, “receives the act _and_ the person who performs the act.”

Garak narrowed his eyes. “Doctor Bashir, are you telling the truth when you say this is not considered vulgar by Terran standards?”

“Absolutely. In fact, it’s,” Julian felt his cheeks go hot, “you could say that if you had a partner with this sort of, uh, internal genitalia, well. If one were to refuse to perform this act... To many people it would be considered a selfish refusal to satisfy your partner’s needs.”

Garak’s face had softened a bit. “Is that so?” he asked after a long pause.

“Absolutely. For humans with similar configurations, it’s often one of the only ways to achieve orgasm.” Julian could still feel and smell a bit of Garak’s slick on the outer corner of his lip. He attempted to discreetly lick it off his face and was, of course, unsuccessful. Garak saw everything, his blue eyes were boring through him; his pupils blown wide. “Does it... did it feel good?” Julian asked quietly.

“It felt incredible, Doctor!” Garak snapped.

Julian’s brow furrowed in confusion. “But you-”

“So incredible, in fact, that I now _completely_ understand why it’s considered taboo!” Garak looked furious.

“You do? What do you mean?”

Garak huffed and crossed his arms; Julian bit down on his lip to keep from laughing. “Well, I would think it's rather obvious, isn't it?”

“No...” Julian said, raising his eyebrows.

“How is one supposed to keep – how are Terrans expected to have stamina in their intimate encounters when such a pleasurable act is so commonplace?” The tailor looked genuinely befuddled. And still a bit cross.

Julian let out a slow breath. _It would not be good to laugh right now_ , he thought. “Hmm. How should I explain it? From a Terran perspective, I guess sometimes the whole point is to give your partner such pleasure that they... that they lose control! That they are completely swept away by the feelings of passion,” he said excitedly. Garak rolled his eyes.

“Losing control,” Garak chuckled bitterly, “what sort of nonsense is that? What sort of lessons does that teach Terrans about devotion? Duty?”

“And what lessons are taught by denying one's self an intimate experience with a lover? What is devotion without affection? Without passion?” The look on Julian's face was the same as during one of their spirited lunch discussions in the replimat.

Garak didn't quite have an answer for that; the sight of his Terran boyfriend (such a ridiculous term, he had yet to wrap his head around it) kneeling before him, gazing at him with a flame in his hazel eyes, threatened to completely undo the tightly wound former Cardassian spy. Julian kept his eyes locked on Garak's and placed his face back between Garak's legs. While maintaining eye contact, he licked another stripe up Garak's ajan; this time slower and gentler. Still, the pleasure it provided Garak was unlike any he'd never known, and he cried out and jerked in response.

“Do you want me to stop?” Julian asked. “I’ll give it a rest if you want me to.” He waited for a response, and when Garak remained silent for a beat too long, Julian pushed himself up. The doctor was about to return to the sofa when Garak put a hand on his shoulder to hold him in place.

“I – I don't feel it would be right for me to deny you the right to perform an act which gives you pleasure,” Garak said.

“I'm not going to do it if you don't want me to, it's as simple as that, Garak,” Julian said matter-of-factly. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed the issue, it's-”

“Doctor. Julian.” Garak still had his hand on Julian's shoulder. “I think I would like to experience this with you.” He cringed as he realized the last two words had exited his mouth instead of staying inside his head where they belonged.

Julian was smiling broadly. “I'd love that,” he said. He bowed his head to resume his ministrations, then paused. “But you need to tell me if you want me to stop,” he said.

“Okay,” Garak said cautiously. He let out a high pitched moan as Julian ran the tip of his tongue slowly up the seam of his ajan. “Oh!” he cried out.

“Are you all right?” The warmth of Julian's mouth against Garak's most sensitive place was nearly enough to send him over the edge right then and there.

“Yes, Doctor, I would say I'm doing a lot better than 'all right.'”

Julian hummed and continued licking, pressing his hands against Garak's scaled thighs. It felt so good, Garak had to close his eyes and dig his fingers into the sofa _. I really don't deserve this_ , he thought, each movement from Julian sending a spike of pleasure through him. He felt himself starting to leak, and a chorus of voices from his life flowed through his mind:

_“This is not something men do”_  
_“Don't ever allow yourself to be seen this way”_  
_“It's disgraceful”_

After a while, all the voices ran together; Garak couldn't even tell who was saying what or when he'd heard it, he only knew that the way he felt as he enjoyed something he wasn't supposed to was going to require some effort to unpack. Julian's nose brushed up against a particularly sensitive cluster of scales and Garak gasped at the intensity of it all. He felt himself blushing as he realized he'd just gushed a bit over Julian's face, over his tongue. And then he reminded himself Julian _wanted_ to be doing this, wanted to be here; Julian _was_ here, attending to him like this, with reverence, exploring the most sensitive area of his body gently, tenderly. Every time he flinched, jumped, shivered, Julian took notice, by avoiding certain areas or devoting more attention to others, depending on Garak's reactions. Garak felt a surge of anxiety at the fact that it seemed his young Terran lover was already able to read his body so well. They'd only been sexually intimate for a few months; what sort of things would Julian know about him in another three months? A year? A few years from now? Garak tried to tamp down the flash of hope he felt. And then he screamed as he felt a sensation he'd never felt before. Somewhat miraculously, he hadn't everted, but he was so aroused that his lips had swollen to the point of opening themselves up, and the doctor had somehow managed to lick a tiny sliver of the length of him through the lips of his ajan. Guls, he wasn't going to last if Julian was going to keep at it with this level of intensity, of devotion.

Julian watched in wonder as Garak arched his back and cried out. Oh, this was nice. He felt a secret thrill at the fact that he was the first person – being, rather – who'd seen Garak like this, writhing and moaning in pleasure, all his little scales rippling under Julian's touch, the lips of his ajan becoming more swollen with each pass of Julian's tongue. The doctor closed his eyes and continued licking in long, steady stripes upwards. _I get to be the one to see him like this,_ he thought. Julian was dimly aware of Garak's vocalizations increasing in frequency and in volume, but once the tailor started clicking away in Kardasi, he had no idea what was being said. _He'll tell me if he wants me to stop,_ thought Julian as he pressed a little more firmly against Garak with his tongue.

Suddenly Julian was drenched in a familiar spicy scent and warmth. He blinked rapidly to clear his eyes and brought his head up. “Did you just...?” he trailed off and wiped his face, looking at the pale blue liquid coating his fingers. It appeared Garak had ejaculated without everting, something that Julian had never seen before.

“Ugh. Yes, I did ‘just,’” Garak said bitterly, “however, there’s no need to further humiliate me by continuing to discuss the matter!” He was blushing furiously, all his ridges a deep navy blue. It sounded as though Garak were gasping for air; he covered his face and continued carrying on in Kardasi; Julian didn’t understand the rapid clicking and hissing, but he knew enough to remain quiet. He rubbed his hands over Garak’s thighs and waited for him to speak again. Eventually, the doctor felt a cool hand on his cheek and looked up.

“Doctor. Julian. As I would imagine you've inferred from our time together, on Cardassia, it’s considered quite poor form to be unable to stop one’s self from... reaching climax. Especially... so rapidly.” Garak brushed some imaginary matter off his thigh.

“Hey, hey.” Julian clambered up onto the sofa and put his arm around Garak, “On Earth, we consider that a huge compliment.”

Garak was silent for a moment. “I believe you when you say this is not a vulgar act by your standards, nor are you displeased by the fact that I achieved climax so... quickly.”

“Absolutely not,” Julian said in a reassuring tone, “it’s considered – _I_ consider it rather incredible, if I'm honest.”

“However, it seems my cultural conditioning has left me feeling somewhat... embarrassed,” Garak said quietly. Julian saw an expression he didn’t often see on Garak: vulnerability. He knew he needed to tread carefully.

The doctor pressed a kiss to Garak’s hand. “I rather enjoyed watching you experience such pleasure, and found it utterly delightful to be the one to provide it for you.” Garak nodded and patted Julian’s shoulder. “And I would be more than happy to perform this act anytime you desire it.”

A stuttering stream of clicks exited Garak’s mouth. “Oh, my most dear Doctor, I wonder if you might live to regret that offer.”

Julian smiled, a predatory sort of smile Garak was sure he hadn't seen on his doctor's face before. “I don't think I will.” Then Julian kissed him, and the Cardassian could smell himself all over his dear Doctor’s face. He pulled away from the kiss and searched Julian’s face, looking for any sign of disgust or revulsion. The only thing Garak could see was undisguised hunger. “In fact, I think we should see if you can do it again,” Julian added.

Garak sighed and hummed. “Well, Doctor, seeing as how you have hardly any information on Cardassian sexuality-” that statement earned Garak a smarting slap on the thigh.

“We’ve been together for six months!” Julian said.

“As I was saying, seeing as how you have hardly any information on Cardassian sexuality, who am I to interfere with your research?” Julian had a feisty look on his face, but he remained silent. Garak knew he was pushing it, but he just couldn’t help himself. “Well? Are you going to be conducting additional experiments, Doctor?”

That was all it took to get Julian to bury his face in Garak’s ajan and continue his “experiments.”

* * *

0335 hours

“Dear Doctor, Julian, my dear Julian, Chu-lian, Chu-lian, darling,” Garak panted, his fingers clutching Julian's shoulders, “I think by now you’ve proven your point, a dozen times over. If we continue, I’m afraid I won’t be able to stand tomorrow, and that would be a problem, as my three most valued Betazoid customers will be boarding this station in three days, and I haven't completed their commissions.”

Julian went a bit gooey as he heard his name in Kardasi, complete with a new endearment. He pulled away from Garak's ajan; his face was dripping with fluid and this time, he made no effort to be discreet as he licked his lips. “As you wish, Elim. I think I’ve... gathered enough information for one evening.”

“The terrifying amount of... liquid currently on your body seems to suggest that is true.”

“It’s also in my hair,” Julian said, climbing onto the bed. “Don’t forget my hair. Computer, replicate three wet towels, at 65 degrees Celsius, and three dry towels.” He rolled over to kiss Garak, then realized he was laying in a rather large puddle on the bed; the entire right side of his body was completely soaked.

“I apologize, Doctor. If I had realized exactly how messy these... experiments would get, I would have proposed either an alternate location or a waterproof covering for the bed.” Garak refused to meet Julian's eyes. He still looked a bit embarrassed, so Julian made a show of snuggling up next to him despite the wetness.

“Computer, replicate five additional dry towels.” Julian lowered his voice to address his lover. “Elim, I'm being entirely honest when I say I really could not care less. If you want to soak the bed like this every night,” he said, the same hunger still sparking in his eyes, “all you have to do is ask.”

Garak swallowed and finally made eye contact with his brash young lover. “I must say, I've had a delightful evening learning about these Terran customs of yours. And as always, you make a fine teacher.” Julian grinned and hopped up to grab the towels from the replicator.

“Here. Roll over,” Julian said, slipping a few dry towels underneath Garak and over the bed. He picked up the blankets from where they'd fallen on the floor and tucked them in around the Cardassian, then climbed in and pressed his body up against Garak's. “Computer, turn off lights. You gonna be warm enough?” he asked.

“I'm surprised you haven't noticed a curious fact of Cardassian biology, Doctor.”

“What's that?”

“Our body temperatures increase every time we achieve orgasm. It's a common method for getting through winter.”

“You don't feel any warmer than normal,” Julian said, his hand moving from Garak's forehead, to his neck, to his hip. “Garak. Are you telling me the truth?”

“No.”

Julian flicked Garak's leg with his foot. “You're a menace.”

“Now that is an honest statement. Good night, s'h'iosr'ha.”

“What did you say?”

“S'h'iosr'ha.” Garak repeated the Kardasi without a translation.

“All right, what does that mean?”

 _Should I tell him?_ Garak thought. Couldn't be any more embarrassing than what he'd just spent the evening doing, flooding his boyfriend's face about a dozen times in a few hours. Better to make him work for it, though. “How do I usually address you?”

“How do you address – oh! Doctor!” Julian exclaimed.

Garak chuckled and pushed back into Julian's embrace. “S'h'iosr'ha. Yes. Doctor,” he said.

Julian pressed a few kisses along Garak's neck ridge. “And how should I address you?”

“A conversation for another day, dear s'h'iosr'ha.” Garak felt a small huff of laughter against the back of his neck. As Julian's body relaxed against his, Garak felt a twinge of panic over how much of himself he'd exposed in one evening. However, the evening's vigorous physical activity had truly worn him out, and the tailor mercifully fell asleep before he could overthink it all.

**Author's Note:**

> the Kardasi for "Doctor" comes from prairiecrow who's written some of the most amazing stuff out there. check it out.
> 
> also some other Kardasi vocab comes from tinsnip, who is also writing that good emotionally devastating Garashir


End file.
